I am a 28-year-old married woman. I recently found out that my husband is having an affair with his secretary. Ever since I found this out, I can’t bear the thought of spending the rest of my life with him. Should I file for a divorce? Please advise.

Name and address withheld

Roll over in your crappy little single bed and go to sleep. Having an affair with a secretary is not news. Do some of you not get it? This is a column for normal people with really abnormal issues. For instance, if your husband was sleeping with your deranged third cousin, that may be interesting, or with your daughter’s male tutor, that would make for some spicy answers, but secretary? Every reasonable man has an affair with his secretary, why do you think no one makes a big deal about it? My advice is just smile and tolerate it. If you really want to punish your husband, smile whenever you see that cow. Or give her some challenging work like writing a letter to your mother in Meerut or something like that. But that apart, this is as normal as day and night. I wouldn’t worry too much about this. All these secretaries are like moths, when they come too close, they burn until the next pretty one walks in.

I am an 18-year-old girl. I have a huge crush on my 35-year-old tuition teacher. I know it’s unethical, but I can’t help it. Should I propose to him? What should I do?

Piya, via e-mail

What a silly question? Of course you should. I am surprised and disappointed that you haven’t yet. Why do you think we have tutors in the world? They are not meant to teach you academics, they are in the business of sleaze and lust and why on earth would you deprive yourself of this great human opportunity? My submission is the next time he is teaching you gravity, hang from the nearest window and try and seduce him. But do be kind enough to share the details with us, we shall be waiting with bated breath!

I am a 55-year-old man. I have just retired from my job. I cannot come to terms with the fact that I am not working anymore. It is tough to adjust to this lifestyle compared to the hectic life that I had a few years back. I feel bored sitting at home all the time. Apart from watching TV, I have no work to do. I can’t understand whether I should start working again or continue with the easy life that am leading now. Please guide me on this front.

Name and address withheld

Either get back to work or stop whining. Who on earth told you to retire so young? You have such fine examples of people like Jyoti Basu never retiring. Promod Dasgupta, the erstwhile Communist had to be forced into death by the Party as it were. These are icons who you should learn from. Look at Arjun Singh in the Union Cabinet. He heads the HRD Ministry which means he is responsible for primary, secondary and tertiary education and all his working life at least in this Cabinet he has not even risen from his wheelchair except to create riots over quotas. These are fine examples of men wreaking havoc even when they are old. Why don’t you just emulate their example and stop writing silly letters to me!